Are you one of those people who grew up knowing exactly what you wanted to do, worked diligently towards that goal, and are now reaping the rewards? Me neither. Few of us did. In fact many of us still don't know what we're meant to be doing with our lives.
This feeling of uncertainty about finding your calling gets worse as you get older. You want a life with meaning but still haven't found that one thing that you can commit to that you feel will make a difference. You see others pursuing what you think should be your calling but it’s not where you want to be - to follow that path would be inauthentic. How then do you have a life with purpose when you don't know what that purpose is? How can you set goals when you don't know what you're trying to achieve? But you do know what you’re trying to achieve – a life with meaning, and for that there are three simple goals you can start working on immediately. 1. Be Healthy You only get one skin suit on this spirit journey, and the better you look after it the better company you'll be to yourself and your fellow travellers. Being healthy means nourishing all areas of your life – mind, body and spirit. Learning about and seeking out healthier options in your nutrition, exercise, rest, meditation, and positive self talk. If motivation is a challenge for you remember your purpose – to have a meaningful life. Shift your focus to the greater good and think about healthy changes that can also benefit others in the long term. Replacing snack foods with extra vegetables, walking instead of taking the car, writing in a journal and getting a few extra hours sleep instead of consuming electronic content will help you and the planet. Most of all, be your own bestie and treat yourself well. We know how empty words can seem if actions don’t reinforce them, so start doing kind things for yourself – eat healthy food, give your body the exercise it thrives on, pamper yourself with a soothing bath or massage. Continually making small improvements can have an amazing impact on your your health, and being healthy will help you in achieving goal number two. 2. Be Happy Do you know it's actually OK to be happy? In fact we're much more fun to be around when we are. Too many well scripted TV series make us think that life should be full of drama and conflict. That works well to keep people tuning in each week but it's not how real life should be. Forget about what everyone else is up to and do that thing that brings you joy. Can't remember what that is? Then think back to what you loved doing as a kid. If you still can't think of something then go out and try as many different things that you can. You'll get new experiences, meet new people, find out exactly what you don't like, and you may discover that thing you love on the way. Another path to happiness is through mindfulness. Simply being totally present in whatever you're doing. Observe without judging, everything in your surroundings including your own movements, feelings and sensations. Mindfulness is also great in helping you let go of the stuff that's making you unhappy. Yesterday is over, tomorrow might not get here, you only have today so make the most of it. Don’t load up with your baggage as you head out the door each morning, leave it where it is and just for the day be happy. Fake it 'til you make it and you’ll be surprised at the results. By being happy you'll be better equipped to pursue your final goal. 3. Be Helpful There's buckets of research to show that helping others makes us healthier and happier, but many of us don't feel up to giving away all our time or money. That’s because being helpful is a bit like fitting oxygen masks on a plane - you need to fit your own first before you can help anyone else. Even though you're not yet bursting with energy and enthusiasm yet, you can still start being helpful on a smaller scale. Complimenting strangers, giving way to people in traffic, being the first to give up your seat for someone, using please and thank you in your transactions, or just offering a genuine good morning are great ways of being helpful by making someone else’s day a little easier. Once you're fully equipped with your own oxygen mask fitted, you can find other ways to be helpful. Giving something back to society, people that you love, the environment, or whatever is important to you cultivates a feeling of fulfilment which leads to a happier more meaningful life. These three simple goals might not win you awards or give you Mother Theresa status, but if pursued they will fill your life with meaning and purpose. Remember, not everyone's life purpose will become their occupation. Some people need ordinary jobs to bring them into contact with the lives they are going to touch. And each life you touch will be richer if you're healthy, happy and helpful.
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18/6/2015 0 Comments Get the messageSometimes, even when you know the rules, you still don’t get the message.
Today I’m sitting still. I’m in bed with my knitting, phone, a book, and my laptop, and finally it has clicked. I’ve been going over in my head (always a bad place to analyse things), why I’ve had such a bad run of health lately. I had the flu over Easter (the every individual bone aching in hands and feet, 3 day fever, plague version), a cold only a week ago (3 days sore throat followed by 4 days runny nose), and now I have food poisoning which kicked in around 30 hours ago waking me in the middle of the night and continued to escalate into aching bones, intense stomach cramps and the usual other symptoms. Mr Wonderful just commented that he thinks I’m doing the right thing, pulling all my activities into bed and not getting up. “Not much choice on this occasion” was my response, and there was my ‘ah ha’ moment. For three months I’ve been getting busier and busier and not taking time out to rest. Sure, I squeeze in a lot of meditation on the bus, but work has been manic, we’ve had loads going on at home, and my release from having too much on is to exercise. I only took one day off work with the flu (as it coincided with a long weekend), I continued to train and go out in the wintry nights while I had the cold last week, while clearly my body was urging me to ease off and have a rest. And now what do you know? Another long weekend, another chance for me to cram in a whole lot of busy-ness, and my body has decided enough is enough! Stay home, sit still, stop doing stuff, and rest. And here I am. This time with no choice in whether I soldier on or not. This time I’m too crook to go anywhere. Interesting that four of us ate the same meal on Saturday night yet I’m the only one that got sick, so apparently everyone else is getting enough down time. But now, finally, I’ve got the lesson that’s been blatantly obvious to everyone around me for months. Stop! So that’s it for me. I give in, I surrender. Typing this tiny article is about as active as I’m going to get for now. I understand, finally, that clearly I need to spend some time doing nothing. The Universe is constantly giving us signs on what we need to do to stay on our path and look after ourselves. It’s up to us to be open to that information and to act on it when we get it, especially when it’s so obvious. And what do you know? Now I’ve acquiesced I’m starting to feel a little better already. Think I’ll celebrate, not with a 4km walk or a workout, this time I think I’ll celebrate with a snooze. What better time to create your vision and get started on your goals. As part of nature we are attuned to it's cycles, so lunar new year holds much more power for us to make changes.
The new moon is a time for new beginings. It's perfect for getting clarity around your vision and what you want to create in your life. So if your new calendar year’s resolutions need a reset or you want to make some other changes, now is the moment of power. Create your life - starting from now! It’s that time again. We’ve just kicked into a new year filled with enthusiasm, then the holidays end, it’s back to the routine and our best laid plans start to fall away. So what can we do to keep us going with our good intentions?
1. Start with a positive goal Giving up something sounds like you're missing out, reframe the goal so it's a positive statement. When I stopped smoking I didn't give it up, I decided I wanted to be a non-smoker, then every time I didn't have a cigarette I was one step closer to my goal. 2. Make your goal SMART We've all heard of SMART goals, in fact most of us are a little sick of the acronym but it's been hanging around for a while now so there must be some good reasons. Let’s take a look: Specific so you know exactly what success looks like when you get there. Measurable so you know when you've achieved it, and you can track your progress along the way. Achievable i.e. if you're a couch potato don’t set a goal of running a marathon by June. Try biting off a smaller chunk like doing a fun run at the end of February, then build up from there. Relevant to something you think is important. What's the point of what you're trying to do, who are you doing it for? If it’s not connected to a bigger picture then motivation might be a problem. Find something that compels you to want to change. Timed - if you aim at nothing that's usually what you hit. When do you want this? Two weeks, 6 months, 3 years? If it's long term try setting several shorter term goals along the way to build confidence. 3. Strengthen your willpower It turns out that willpower is a bit like a muscle that you can strengthen by doing small habitual things differently. Try making your next cuppa, using your mouse, or sending your next text with your non-dominant hand. Carrying bags, unlocking doors, even folding your arms the reverse way while watching a movie and are all opportunities to improve your willpower and make making changes easier. 4. Understand that change is a process Do you know there are five stages we pass through when making a change? Pre-contemplation: before you even realise you want to change. If you've made a new year’s resolution then you're already through this stage. Contemplation: when you start thinking about what you want to change and imagining what it might be like. Preparation: making plans like getting new laces for your runners, buying swimming goggles, cutting or printing our healthy midweek meals helps prepare you for the change. This is also a good time to identify any obstacles you're likely to face and plan some strategies to deal with them. Action: the day you start or stop doing whatever it is you've chosen. Maintenance: keeping it going. Once you're achieved your goal how will you motivate yourself to stick with it. The final, not often discussed stage is Relapse. Sometimes it happens and it's not the end of the world, it's simply time to go back to stage 3 and do a bit more planning. 5. Set up cues to help make and maintain the change Create ways of making good behaviours easy and things you want to give up more difficult. If you're trying to increase or introduce a new behaviour create a trigger to help, like putting your gym gear out before going to bed, or setting a reminder on your phone to eat a piece of fruit in the afternoon. However if you want to stop doing something you’ll need to remove the usual triggers and make it more difficult. So if you want to stop having a beer the minute you walk in the door make sure there's none cold when you get home and stock the fridge with a non-alcoholic alternative, put a photo on the fridge that represents a healthier you, and use your normal trigger for something else like "when I get home and reach the fridge door I will use the photo to motivate me to walk around the block. Making changes doesn’t have to be all hard work it just takes a bit of planning and practice. Like everything else you’re already good at. Happy New Year If you need help getting started why not try an introductory coaching package or, if you have a group interested in learning more about making changes, book a changing habits and behaviours workshop. |
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