In story we study what’s known as the the hero's journey. We set up a main character with a significant character flaw, then put them through a sequence of events that challenge their weakness. As the story progresses the challenges become greater, allowing the audience to sit back and watch our character become stronger and eventually overcome their weakness.
Life is much the same.
Before we take a skinsuit for our earthwalk we reflect on what we've learnt in previous lifetimes, then deliberately choose a path that will challenge us in the area in which we're trying to grow. While in spirit form we make deals with others who offer to come and help us with our lessons. These agreements are well understood at a higher level. For example, if we need to learn about self sufficiency and resilience, they might agree to manifest in our lives as someone who leaves us. However when this happens in our physical form, and our memories of the agreement are gone, we feel devastated, deserted, and the first time it happens we will often fall into a victim or ‘why me’ mindset.
As with the character in our story, if we stay in this place nothing good comes of it. We simply wallow in self pity and fail to get the lesson. However, when we pick ourselves up and get back on track we find that all is not lost, and we are a little wiser and stronger as a result.
Like a story our lives go on, and when we fail to get the lesson we are often faced with an even bigger challenge next time, which should make what we are trying to learn more obvious. But, as the main character in our story, we are often too deep in the minutiae to get the perspective to see what the pattern is telling us.
What did I come here to learn? How can I grow from this situation? What specific thing can I do differently this time to change the outcome? These are the questions that help to lift us out of the detail whenever we find ourselves feeling disappointed, let down, or leaning towards a victim mindset.
When we have the courage to reflect on life in this way, believing we create our own situations, then we find we also have the strength to try to handle things differently. This approach enables us to shift our focus to what type of person we want to have become by the end of our story, and what challenges we would like to have faced and overcome.
We are well equipped to handle challenges, it's in our nature. We just need to choose them wisely. We must realise we are only answerable to ourselves and choose challenges for the result they will have on our personal and spiritual growth, not based on any other external factor. With this focus we can face them all knowing we have the strength to get through them and the resilience to try again if we don't.
The only difference between us and our character hero is that we have a choice over how quickly we choose to grow.